Or…getting everyone to “play nice” once again
While we all wish every single team meetings would run smoothly and people will be kind, polite and listen to each other, unfortunately this isn’t always the case. There are times when we need to manage heated team meetings – where team members are shouting and arguing and definitely not playing nicely together!
Here are some ways to manage those troublesome team meetings and get everyone back on track:
Be sure you stay neutral and calm: First, be sure you as the team leader stays calm and remains neutral. Do not participate in shouting matching or blaming others and don’t take sides. Keep your body language neutral and your voice calm and in control.
Stop the discussion: Don’t delay! Immediately stop angry discussions. When team members are shouting, speaking over each other or downright being rude, stop the discussion. The sooner you handle these situations the easier it is to get people back on track. Ask team members to slow down and listen to each other. You might choose a round robin approach to the conversation, given everyone in the room a chance to speak rather than allowing shouting out of ideas or thoughts.
Reset expectations: Remind the group of the team norms and expectations for working together. Do norms need updating? Engage the group in updating the team norms before moving forward. Remind the group that shouting at each other and blaming each other does not serve any useful purpose and does not enable the group to be effective. As a best practice, at every team meeting, I post the agreed to team norms and guidelines for working together in the room, reminding everyone at the start of the meeting about the norms and guidelines so it is fresh in their mind.
Don’t be meek: Don’t be a shrinking violet! You need to be strong in your convictions. Be the team referee. Stand your ground and insist that team members stop shouting and use the “round robin” approach to get control. If someone interrupts, immediately stop them. If they keep interrupting, ask them to step out of the room until they can behave more appropriately in the group. Sometimes people need a “time out.”
Keep control of discussions: You need to keep control of discussions that are happening to keep people calm and controlled and moving in the right directions. The “round robin” approach mentioned earlier is a great way to control discussions. Be the facilitator in the group. Use a flip chart to capture ideas. Ask each team member to build on the idea of the team member before them before they raise a new idea. Once an idea is discussed fully, move to the next idea; this forces people to listen to others and contribute to the conversation.
Remove those who continue to get out of hand: For those team members that just won’t stand down and continue to be disruptive and misbehave, remove them from the meeting and continue without them. I always “warn” team members in such situations that I have no problem removing someone from a meeting who can’t get along and contribute in a positive manner. This usually works well; no one really wants to be asked to leave a meeting – it is too embarrassing.
If you still can’t get control, end the meeting. Meet one-on-one with those individuals who caused the issues in the meeting to get them back on track. Reschedule the meeting for a later date when emotions have calmed and the team is ready to move forward and play nice.
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